Just read an article about ‘marriage phobic’. By definition, a marriage phobic is the one who is suffering from irrational fear of marriage. They are afraid that life may change drastically after marriage.
Hmmm…..I think some people around me might have shown the symptoms. Some of my friends, the happy-go-lucky married couples, like to make fun of the issues, “Why would you afraid of something so wonderful?”or “You won’t be afraid if you find the right person” which I think is unfair. It is like saying ‘Why are you afraid of spider?’ or ‘You would not be afraid if you find the right spider‘ to the arachnophobic. I think it is not entirely about the spider. It is more about the perceptive, the state-of-mind of the person in question and this is difficult to realize. Most of them would search the world for the right person (or the right spider) only to find that they are all wrong, all unfit.
Now comes the narcissism part. I can not offer you phobic any solution or any tips as I myself did not encounter such issue. But just for the sake of sharing, I decided my marriage in split second, without much thinking, without sleepover the problem (there was definitely a sleepover but not the ‘sleepover the problem’). I proposed to my wife spontaneously, without planning (without a ring also) and thank God she said “yes” without thinking too (otherwise she might said no). We do not want to overthink on the basis that we do not expect any major changes in our life after marriage and if in fact there are changes afterall, so be it. And, after all these years still there are no major changes in us except that I have to give all my money to her, but that is not major.
So, once again, let’s just not overthink it, after marriage you might go broke, or you might experience World War III at your house or your wife/husband might leave you for someone else, or you might have five kids to feed, or the combination of the above, but I’m sure you can handle all that. That is not that big o’ a problem isn’t it?
…..let there be changes…..